MINDFULNESS MATTERS: Good Times/Bad Times — What is the Difference?
by Cynthia Runge
Finding balance and moving forward by acknowledging the good along with the bad in stressful times.
Pre-pandemic, I rarely if ever saw my neighbors, let alone had time to speak to them. Since the pandemic, I take regular walks through my neighborhood and have met some wonderful people, in a socially distanced kind-of-way.
Since the pandemic, I have implemented a new habit almost every morning. It consists of waking up by 5:30 a.m. to meditate and start the coffee machine. When the coffee is ready, my husband and I have coffee together and then go for a walk. When I get back, I work out and get ready to start my day. The nice thing about this new pattern, which previously was more of a weekend pattern, is that it allows me to have a chunk of time to myself before starting the day. Obviously, I can’t do this complete routine every day, but I am doing it enough to begin to notice that these practices help me to remain calmer and less reactive than when I don’t do them.
So, although I am not a fan of the pandemic, the fact that we are in the midst of it reminds me that at all times, good and bad things occur and exist in the world simultaneously. There is no time when it is either/or. The same is true when someone is going through a divorce. Is a divorce life altering? Yes. Is it painful and sometimes tumultuous? Yes. Can we move forward in our lives with more introspection and create an opportunity to live our life more in line with who we are? Yes.
What can you do when you are in the midst of stressful and difficult transition? Accept that you are going to feel stressed from time to time. During the current pandemic, it might be more often than not, but there are lessons we can learn from the pandemic which can help you in other stressful situations. 1) Reach out to others (we are meant to be social creatures). 2) Find activities that are grounding for you, whether it be socially distanced walks or activities with friends, or simply taking time for yourself to focus on the breath.
The pandemic has caused a huge shift in the way we live our lives. Eventually a new normal will emerge from all of this change, as it does in a divorce. Remember that good things and bad things (however we choose to characterize them) happen in the world at the same time. It is human to focus on negative events, but your well-being requires that you give your mind and body a break from stress and worry. Use your current situation (pandemic/divorce/life event) as an opportunity to think about how your current situation can help you to make positive changes moving forward, perhaps in ways you wouldn’t have previously considered. Stay well!
This article appeared in our Summer 2020 Newsletter.
