MINDFULNESS MATTERS: Maybe Yes, Maybe No
by Cynthia Runge
What is fortunate and what is not?
As I reflect upon the year and the upcoming holidays, I think about what has happened over the course of the year. Each year, like most people, I like to set personal and professional goals. Some of them I hit and others I don’t. Admittedly, I can get discouraged when I do not hit them all, even though I hit many of the ones I set.
It is easy to focus on the things that don’t work out and let those preoccupy your mind, even when there is a lot of other great stuff happening. Through time, I have become grateful for some of the more challenging experiences in my life as I can see how they have shaped who I have become. I love the parable of the Chinese farmer. I am not sure of the correct attribution, but it goes something like this:
“Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors visited him to commiserate, saying, ‘We’re so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.’ To which the farmer simply replied, ‘Maybe.’
The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening, everybody came back and said, ‘Oh, what luck! What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!’ The farmer again simply said, ‘Maybe.’
The following day the man’s son tried to break one of the wild horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors came again and said, ‘Oh dear, we’re so sorry to hear about your son’s leg. That’s truly unfortunate.’ The farmer simply responded, 'Maybe.’
The next day an enlistment officer came to the farm looking to draft young men into the army, and upon seeing the boy’s broken leg, he left the farm allowing the boy to stay with his father. Again all the neighbors came around and said, ‘How lucky you are that you can keep your son! Isn’t that great!’ Again, the farmer simply said, ‘Maybe.’”
[ https://www.thekinnardhomestead.com/the-parable-of-the-chinese-farmer/ ]
“Maybe yes, Maybe no”. What is fortunate and what is not? Sometimes it is not so easy to see, unless we can change our perspective. For example, many years ago, I was divorced. It was painful at the time, but through time and perspective, I can see how in actuality, it was one of the most pivotal moments in my life and helped shape who I am today. Had I not gone through that experience, I would not have the family, or life I do today. It is an odd thing to say, but I’m grateful for having had that experience, because it helped me move forward in a direction that I couldn’t previously have imagined. This is not to say that getting divorced is a positive experience. Clearly, divorce is to be avoided unless there is no other option and all other interventions fail. I mention the above example only because it is my personal story, which is one of the reasons I choose to help people through the divorce process today. I do see the possibility for personal growth and change when faced with challenging circumstances. It also helps when you have someone you can count on to help you through the process.
How does the story of the Chinese farmer resonate with you?
